hey jealousy

I was in a bit of a funk yesterday. I'm so tired (I know that sounds wretched) of hearing about everyone else's exotic and fun summer vacation plans, and I'm so frustrated that once again I have no place to go and no money to use on any type of adventure. Mind you, I can think of 100 things I'd like to do or see. It's just this infernal waiting game we have to play right now. There is no end in sight, no finish line to strive for, nothing. Just wait.

Argh. It's like being on a treadmill, but without even a friendly little timer to let you know when your hour is up.

At least I have the Boilermaker to look forward to... in 10 days. I had a really good run Tuesday and a really crappy one this morning. I'm hoping in 10 days to at least "feel good" on my run. 9 miles with legs of lead like I had this morning would be utter misery. I'd probably just sit down on the curb and cry. Ah, but I hope it's not that way at all.

I had a great time last night visiting with friends. A circle of friends who are really trying to walk the Christian walk. I need this. I think I'm such an utter failure at the Christian walk, but my days on earth are not over yet. There is still time to shine for Jesus. Thank God for that.

I had a thought, as people were talking last night, wondering what more I can do to love my Sweet P in a way that glorifies God. I need to figure out how to step that up. Not be preachy in his face, but just love him to God. I'm not sure how to do that, because I do love him unconditionally as his wife and friend. It has to be something a little different. I need to ask God to show me what this is. The idea must have come from Him, after all.