trying

trying to get back into a routine. *sigh*

I went for a run on Monday, after not running for a week after the Boilermaker. This was not planned. The honest truth is that I am so so so so tired I just can't wake up in the mornings.

It is good to rest after a race like the Boilermaker, but I probably would have been fine with like 3-4 days off and then back to my jogging around the park. Somehow I just could not motivate to do it. But Monday morning I ran, and it felt really good. Hot and sweaty, but good. And the rest of this week has slipped by without another run. My plan for tonight is to get to bed early so that I will hear the alarm clock in the morning. I need my half hour of stress relief and attitude readjustment. NEED it.

Seriously.

Work is ridiculous lately. I don't know what to do about it. I am not a type-A personality. I've never been accused of that. Most people find me to be laid-back, but work has me tied up in knots lately. I am a serious person and I am detail-oriented in my work. With my job responsibilities, I need to be accurate. If things are not accurate, it can lead my boss to make poor decisions and it can cost us lots of fines if the government has to correct my mistakes. These are just the facts of how it is. It requires a bit of thinking and concentration, along with organization. Anyone who visits my house would not find me to be particularly organized, but with my job I just have to be. I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you just have to do things a certain way, even if your personality prefers things a bit more free-form or free-spirited. I love creativity and puzzles, and I even like to have fun once in a while, but I do that on my own time.

But I have a coworker who is apparently angry with me because I am not fun, because I need the office to be quiet, and because whenever she helps me I have to repeatedly show her what is wrong and how to fix it. I do this in hopes that eventually she will "get it" and not make mistakes. I really do wish her success--it would make her more confident and it would make my life easier. I don't point out her mistakes because I am an ogre at heart. But that is precisely her perception. (Chel = Shrek before he meets Donkey and Princess Fiona! ha!)

So this has me frustrated. I can't change what she thinks of me. I can't change how I do things. I am being as nice as I can. I am trying so hard to be tolerant of the noise level of the office. I can't remember the last time I commented on the noise -- I've definitely learned to pick my battles. But this gesture has earned me nothing in return. Some people are so all-or-nothing.

This is why I need my runs in the morning before work. And this is also why I am exhausted and can't sleep at night and can't wake up in the mornings. Vicious cycle.